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(All questions and answers in this session are from Book V.)
Jim: In Session 101 I got an excellent opportunity to work on my anger/frustration distortion again. This time, however, it was not pointed only at myself. This “negative wisdom” was pointed at Don over a period of two days when it was time to have Books Two and Three reprinted. Don wanted to put all of the books—one, two and three—into one book instead. It didn’t matter that that was impossible due to lack of money to do it the way Don wanted to do it—typeset and hardback. What mattered was that I allowed a disharmony to result that went unresolved for two days. This became an excellent opportunity for our friend of negative fifth density to magnify the difficulty, and the means by which this was done proved to be quite interesting, especially to me, when I developed a rare kidney disease. It was called lipoid nephritis or minimal change syndrome, and soon I had gained about thirty pounds of water weight as a result of it. The last sentence in the first paragraph of Ra’s response seems to us to be the key concept in this particular incident. The last two sentences in that response are interesting in their general application to all seekers.
You will note toward the middle of this session that another house in Atlanta is mentioned as a possible location for our group. We were still hoping to get closer to Don’s work so that there would be less strain on him in getting to his job. Later, we found a third house which will be mentioned in Session 105, and it was this house that we eventually moved to in November of 1983.
The next to the last question concerns another instrument who had reported difficulties with her body swelling much as mine had done. Don asked if there were any way that we could give her information about her condition since we had just talked to her on the phone to compare the swelling in the ranks of our two groups. The first paragraph of Ra’s response lays out the general principle which affects all individuals and groups doing work of a more intensive service-to-others nature. The second paragraph of Ra’s response refers to the situation in which that particular instrument worked, but the general application of those concepts is obvious.
The combination of healing approaches found my condition in remission within six months.
Carla: I wish you could have seen the look on Dr. Stewart Graves’ face when that worthy reviewed Ra’s diagnosis. He carefully looked up the known causes of Jim’s variety of kidney disease, and found that insect bites and the allergic reaction to them were a rarely found but duly noted cause of the condition. In the absence of any other possible cause, it was recorded an allergic reaction. Oddly, when I experienced kidney failure as a teenager, allergic reaction was also the doctor’s best guess as to cause.
By this time, it may seem to you that psychic greetings were really occupying our time. You would be right. As Jim and Ra both say, it is easier to be noticed when you’re standing in a spotlight. Metaphysically, the contact with those of Ra was a blinding cynosure. Although we continued to be obscure and completely anonymous in any earthly sense, we had become very noticeable to “the loyal opposition.”
To my mind, the fatal weakness of our group was its humanity, in dealing with three-ness. Although in fact our consciously known energies were in perfect harmony and agreement, there were human distortions from below the level of conscious control, that allowed a wedge to be driven in between Don and me, so he lost faith in “us.” When he began experiencing this profound depression which seemed to overtake him at a crawling, yet inexorable pace, his utter disdain for any opinion but his own did not stand him in good stead. This was the beginning of a pattern that in the end turned fatal and ended my beloved companion’s life, and dear Ra’s contact with our group.
Does this constitute a suggestion that a group should not work unless the energies are two-by-two, and only couples can join in? Not specifically, I do not think, but it is certainly something to ponder. Could we have done better? After years of the Joyceian “agenbite of inwit,” I still do not think we could have. Our behavior was at all times a true manifestation of ourselves. In no wise did either Jim or myself ever even think to change the relationship with each other, or with Donald. And Don had ever kept his own counsel, and there was no hope that he would come to me or Jim and tell us what worries he had in his mind and heart.
Further, when any group works and lives together, regardless of whether the number is paired or singles are mixed in, there will always be human error in the manifested life of each, and to the extent that people’s distortions and fears have a dynamic, there will be misunderstandings and confusion, pulling back and apart from total trust. So it behooves all those working with the light, hoping to be a positive influence on the planetary consciousness to communicate at once those fears and doubts that might pile up inside. If we had ever been able to talk with total openness, Don and I, I think I could have set his mind at ease. But Don would not have been himself if he had done so. Nor would I have been myself if I had somehow known Don was doubting my fidelity. Being within my self, I cannot imagine, either then or now, anyone thinking that I would be disloyal or untrue to any agreement. I have never done that in this incarnation.
Ultimately, one looks at such a pickle as we got into, and knows its utter perfection and inevitability. I have and will always think of Don, my B.C., every hour of every day, and his suffering is ever before me. But I no longer feel the keen sorrow that laid me low for the first few years after his death. All is well, nothing is lost. And I can feel the sun on my face this day, without the urge I used to have to stay in the shade and mourn my losses. Time has restored my broken spirit, and let my being flow sweetly and rhythmically again. And Donald is right here, within. Interestingly enough, we often get mail saying that Don has helped them, either with something from his work, or in an actual visitation. Don’s great generosity of spirit, freed from the constrictive hold he had on it when alive, has overflowed into timelessness, and I think his service will continue as long as there are those who need his special brand of wisdom and depth of soul.
Ra’s statement that the source of catalyst is the self, especially the higher self, is profound, I think. We always relate to the pain of new catalyst by relating to the other person as bringer of catalyst. In doing so we forget that the other is ourselves. Not LIKE ourselves, but our very hearts and souls. In this way of seeing, we can look at the fullness of tragedy in Don’s and my illness and his death as the Creator serving the creator with exactly the catalyst needed for the utmost polarization in consciousness and the greatest growth of spirit. In opening his heart, Don fell ill and died, in the tradition of lost love and desperate romance that has moved us since the beginning of history. And that death was an utter giving away of self. It was as though Don finished everything else he wished to do in life, and then took on the personal reason he had come to earth’s physical plane: the opening of his heart. He was so very wise—and with the sacrifice of self in the most brutal, literal sense, that wisdom was balanced fully with compassion and open-hearted love.
As for me, I cannot fault the path that stubbornly sent my soul to batter against the walls of self until I at last began struggling to express wisdom as well as love in my life. Such were our gifts to each other; such are the currents between us all.
Since Ra gave us the cleansing ritual referred to in this session, I’ve seen it used several times by those who have come to L/L Research, and in every case it seems to have been quite useful. I think that doing some sort of cleansing of a new place is a good metaphysical habit, for people do leave behind the thought forms’ traces imprinted on the aura of the places they have been, especially those they’ve stayed in for considerable time. And even when the vibrations are basically good, they might not harmonize completely with your own. So it is good to magnetize the place for your own uses, even if all you do is burn sage, or say a prayer of dedication. The world of spirit has much to do with us, though we cannot in most ways know or see such influence. Offering that part of things respect is wise.
Ra: I am Ra. The nature of catalyst is such that there is only one source, for the catalyst and experience are further attempts at specificity in dealing with the architecture of the unconscious mind of the self. Therefore, in an incarnational experience the self as Creator, especially the higher self, is the base from which catalyst stands to offer its service to the mind, body, or spirit.
In the sense which we feel you intend, the source was the fifth-density, negative friend which had noted the gradual falling away of the inharmonious patterns of the distortion called anger/frustration in the entity. The insect was easily led to an attack, and the physical vehicle, which had long-standing allergies and sensitivities, was also easily led into the mechanisms of the failure of lymphatic function and the greatly diminished ability of the immune system to remove from the yellow-ray body that which distorted it.
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