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(Questions and answers from Book V are shown with this background color.)
Jim: The information in Session 103 concerns the continued spasming condition of Carla’s abdominal region. Large amounts of pain accompanied the spasming and caused her to be less and less able to function in any manner of service at all. Thus she felt useless, and her natural joy became reduced and was the focus for this series of questions. Further, Carla had decided to stop buying clothes for a year because she felt that she had devoted too much time and attention to a transient part of her life, and wished to break that habit, and this decision added to her loss of joy.
Carla: By June of 1983, Don and Luther, our lessor and the owner of the house in which we had lived for all of the Ra sessions, were locked in a Mexican stand-off. Because Luther raised the asking price an arbitrary $5,000.00 in the middle of negotiations, and because Don was absolute in his refusal to buy the house without Luther’s adhering to his original price, all bets were off. At this point, I was just trying to get Don’s deposit out of escrow. Luther would not release it after we agreed not to buy the house. He felt it should be his, regardless. Luther was not a great help. Eventually, I was to agree, long after Don’s death, to give him over half the escrow amount. It really didn’t seem to matter what was fair. There was more confusion because our lawyer for the purchase of the house did not do his paperwork. I did not want to go to court, feeling that Don would not have done so. Nothing would resolve; everything felt like we were moving in molasses. This was the sort of baffling energy that seemed to have overtaken us. Nothing seemed to work well, me included. Don was feeling poorly, too, though in a vague and generalized way rather than anything acute. Jim alone was regaining health every day.
I was concerned about Don without knowing why, really. At this stage of his mental illness, it was very subtle. He simply felt very low, and was very prone to think and plan for the worst case scenario. While he, all his life, was always rigorously careful and cautious in his dealings, a change of address was in order, and his normal response was not this slow. We had to move. But month by month, looking constantly both here and in Atlanta, we could find nothing that Don was pleased with. I would target this point as the time period within which I was becoming aware that something was really wrong. As was always our pattern, I responded to the feelings of concern by asking for help and communicating. Don responded to the same with an increase of reserve. He could be firm about only one thing: that nothing we were looking at was the right place.
In this atmosphere, we were all uneasy, unsettled. I tend to get busy when I get worried. I was busy. All the records were in order. I went on my walks and did my time in the whirlpool and tried to remain hopeful. I felt constantly a bit irritated with Don, because I could never figure out why he rejected every single house we found in the listings or saw from the street. He seemed to be dragging his feet for no reason. Don was never one to share in his motives for doing things. He just said no, much as Nancy Reagan suggested later. It wasn’t a solution for either environment. This is the first place I can think back and say, HERE I was feeling both of us losing ground, Don and myself.
I was heavily dependent upon him. I had been raised a most independent person, and I had to learn to let go of everything except what Don needed from me. And Don had needed all my choices to be made around him. He wanted me to be at home and right there, a person he could count on to be loving and willing to do whatever he decided. He never really consulted me, and it sounds very chauvinistic, but he did not mean this personally. He simply consulted no one. He never had. And his view on women was so bad that I could only look better! I quickly formed the opinion that when I stopped getting interference for an idea, that idea was the right one. It took me at least the first six years of our relationship to figure out that no matter what, I should never take a job that took me away from him, even as far as my desk. He even stopped me from working on our projects, many times, when he was at home. “When I am off, you are off,” he would say. So I had pretty much given over my decisions to him. It is to be noted that I was aware of the unhealthy tinge of this relationship. However it was and remains my opinion that this was the absolute best Don could do in the way of having a relationship. And that was good enough for me. Where Don was concerned, I was ready to do whatever he needed. Period.
And at this point, with my health compromised and aiming for more sessions, I was not “allowed” to do much except follow my regimen and try to keep my weight above 80. I was whole-heartedly into this model for living, for what mattered most to me from the first was to see Donald really happy, as only the contact with Ra made him. So our every effort was towards that goal: just to have one more session.
However, what had always before gone hand in hand with my dependency was his willingness to steer our course, indeed, his insistence upon that. I was glad to give this leadership over to him, and to do what he said. He was far wiser than I was or ever could be. When he stopped giving orders, and indeed seemed not to know what to do, I was quite lost. My mode was to find out what he wanted and do it. But with the question of moving, we entered an arena where I could not succeed. No house, no apartment, was acceptable. I do not find it at all odd that I had “lost my joy.” I was totally bewildered. My sense of reality had been compromised.
The comments about clothing address a facet of my personality of which I am not proud, but do own: I absolutely love to wear a new dress or pair of socks or whatever else might catch my fancy. My childhood had been very low on pretty clothing, as our family finances were tight. My mother and I, when I was grown and her career as a psychologist had begun, had a standing date on Saturday for lunch and shopping which we kept faithfully until her death in 1991. I would find wonderful things with her, as she was a champion shopper, looking through great masses of sales racks with the patience of an archeologist, sifting for good labels and just the right bargain. To this day, when I can, I love to go bargain-hunting, and just thrill to be able to wear something new.
I kept my promise to myself, and did not buy clothes for myself for a whole year. However, I cheated, in that I bought things for Momma, and she bought things for me. I kept the letter of the promise anyway!
103.0 ▶ Ra: I am Ra. I greet you in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. We communicate now.
103.1 ▶ Questioner: Could you first please give me the condition of the instrument?
Ra: I am Ra. The physical distortions of the instrument remain serious. Further, the vital energies of this mind/body/spirit complex are much diminished, although acceptable for the needs of this working. This is to be noted as the lowest or most distorted vital reading of this all-important energy. The mental and mental/emotional distortions are as last seen.
We find the will of the instrument, having been unwisely used, to have encouraged the distortions of vital energy. It is well that the instrument ponder this.
103.2 ▶ Questioner: What is the situation with respect— and condition with respect— to the physical problems with the digestive portions of the body that the instrument had previously?
Ra: The yellow-ray— We must correct ourselves. I am Ra. Please expel breath across this instrument’s chest area.
[This was done as directed.]
103.3 ▶ Ra: I am Ra. The channel is now satisfactory. We find the yellow-ray, chemical body of the instrument to be exhausted, but to be attempting the improvement by action such as exercise and diet. We may state that the infection has not completely left the body complex, although it is far less virulent.
Ra: I am Ra. The instrument made a free-will decision not to address the physical catalyst causing great pain by means of the allopathically prescribed chemical compound which the instrument was sure would be efficacious due to its reliance upon the suggestions of Ra. Thus the catalyst was given in a more complete form. The outer service to others became nearly impossible, causing the entity to experience once again the choice of the martyr; that is, to put value in a fatal action and die or to put value on consciousness of the creation and of the One Creator and, thereby, live. The instrument, through will, chose the latter path. However, the mind and mental/emotional distortions did not give the support to this decision necessary to maintain a state of unity which this entity normally experiences and has experienced since its incarnation’s beginnings.
Since this catalyst has been accepted, the work begun to remove distortions blocking the indigo ray might well be continued apace.
Ra: I am Ra. We cannot recommend for the general situation for in each case the distortional vortex is unique. In this particular nexus, the more appropriate working is in the mental and mental/emotional powers of analysis and observation. When the strongest and least distorted complex is set in support, then the less strong portions of the complex shall be strengthened. This entity has long worked with this catalyst. However, this is the first occasion wherein the drugs to dull the pain that sharpens the catalyst have been refused.
103.6 ▶ Questioner: What is the present situation with respect to our fifth-density, service-to-self oriented companion?
Ra: I am Ra. This entity has, for some period of your space/time, been at rest. However, it has been alerted to the workings taking place and is soon to be your companion once again.
103.7 ▶ Questioner: Can Ra recommend anything that the instrument can do, or that we can do, to improve any of the energies of the instrument?
Ra: I am Ra. This is previously covered material. We have outlined the path the instrument may take in thought.
103.8 ▶ Questioner: I didn’t mean to cover previously covered material. I meant to add any of this to specifically focus on at this time, the best possible thing that we or the instrument could do to improve these energies, the salient activity.
Ra: I am Ra. Before responding we ask your vigilance during pain flares as the channel is acceptable but is being distorted periodically by the severe physical distortions of the yellow-ray, chemical body of the instrument.
Those salient items for the support group are praise and thanksgiving in harmony. These the group has accomplished with such a degree of acceptability that we cavil not at the harmony of the group.
As to the instrument, the journey from worth in action to worth in esse is arduous. The entity has denied itself in order to be free from that which it calls addiction*. This sort of martyrdom, and here we speak of the small but symbolically great sacrifice of the clothing, causes the entity to frame a selfhood in poorness which feeds unworthiness unless the poverty is seen to be true richness. In other words, good works for the wrong reasons cause confusion and distortion. We encourage the instrument to value itself and to see that its true requirements are valued by the self. We suggest contemplation of true richness of being.
103.9 ▶ Questioner: Is there anything else that either we or the instrument can do that would specifically work on the vital energy to increase it of the instrument?
Ra: I am Ra. We have come up against the full stop of free will.
103.10 ▶ Questioner: In that case I have a few questions on Card Seven in order to finish off our first run-through of the archetypes of the mind. There is a T with two right angles above it on the chest of the entity in Card Seven. We have guessed that the lower T has to do with the possibility of choosing either path in the transformation and the upper two angles representing the great way of the left or the right-hand path in a mental transformation that makes the change from space/time into time/space, you might say. This is difficult to express. Is there anything correct [chuckle] in this guess?
Ra: I am Ra. Yes.
103.11 ▶ Questioner: Would Ra comment on that?
Ra: I am Ra. The use of the tau* and the architect’s square is indeed intended to suggest the proximity of the space/time of the Great Way’s environment to time/space. We find this observation most perceptive.
The entire mood, shall we say, of the Great Way is indeed dependent upon its notable difference from the Significator. The Significator is the significant self, to a great extent but not entirely influenced by the lowering of the veil.
The Great Way of the Mind, the Body, or the Spirit draws the environment which has been the new architecture caused by the veiling process and, thusly, dipped in the great, limitless current of time/space.
103.12 ▶ Questioner: I am guessing that the wheels on this chariot indicate the ability of the mind to be able now to move in time/space. Is this correct?
Ra: I am Ra. We cannot say that the observation is totally incorrect, for there is as much work in time/space as the individual who evokes this complex of concepts has assimilated.
However, it would be more appropriate to draw the attention to the fact that although the chariot is wheeled, it is not harnessed to that which draws it by a physical or visible harness. What then, O Student, links and harnesses the chariot’s power of movement to the chariot?
103.13 ▶ Questioner: I’ll have to think about that one. Unless… I’ll come back to that.
We were thinking of replacing the sword in the right hand with the magical sphere and a downward scepter in the left hand, similar to Card Five, the Significator, as more appropriate for this card. Would Ra comment on that, please?
Ra: I am Ra. This is quite acceptable, especially if the sphere may be imaged as spherical and effulgent.
103.14 ▶ Questioner: The bent left leg of the two sphinxes indicate[s] a transformation that occurs on the left that doesn’t on the right, possibly an inability in that position to move. Does this have any merit?
Ra: I am Ra. The observation has merit in that it may serve as the obverse of the connotation intended. The position is intended to show two items, one of which is the dual possibilities of the time-full characters there drawn.
The resting is possible in time, as is the progress. If a mixture is attempted, the upright, moving leg will be greatly hampered by the leg that is bent. The other meaning has to do with the same right angle, with its architectural squareness, as the device upon the breast of the actor.
Time/space is close in this concept complex, brought close due to the veiling process and its efficaciousness in producing actors who wish to use the resources of the mind in order to evolve.
103.15 ▶ Questioner: I am assuming that the skirt is skewed to the left for the same reason that it is in Card Number Four, indicating the distance service-to-self polarized entities keep from others, and I am also assuming that the face is turned to the left for the same reason that it is in Card Number Five, because of the nature of catalyst. Is this roughly correct?
Ra: I am Ra. Please expel breath over the breast of the instrument from right to left.
[This was done as directed.]
I am Ra. That is well.
Your previous supposition is indeed roughly correct. We might also note that we, in forming the original images for your peoples, were using the cultural commonplaces of artistic expression of those in Egypt. The face is drawn to the side most often, as are the feet turned. We made use of this and, thus, wish to soften the significance of the side-long look. In no case thus far in these deliberations, however, has any misinterpretation or unsuitable interpretation been drawn.
103.16 ▶ Questioner: Our appropriate time for working right now, I believe, is close to a close, and I would like to ask, that is, the two times we had to expel breath— what is the problem, or what is— Why in this session do we have to do that, when we didn’t in most others?
Ra: I am Ra. This instrument is unaware of the method used to contact Ra. However, its desire was particularly strong, at the outset of this working, for this working to transpire. Thus it inadvertently was somewhat premature in its leaving of the yellow-ray, physical body.
In this state the object was dropped upon the instrument which you call the tie-pin microphone. The unexpected contact caused injury of the chest muscles and we would advise some care depending from this working to avoid stress so that this injury may heal. There is a metaphysical component to this injury and, therefore, we wished to be quite sure that all portions of the environment were cleansed. Since this place of working has not its usual level of protection we used your breath to so cleanse the environment, which was at risk.
103.17 ▶ Questioner: Is the reason for the lack of usual level of protection the fact that it has been a considerable time since we have worked in here?
Ra: I am Ra. No.
103.18 ▶ Questioner: What is the reason?
Ra: I am Ra. The lack of regular repetition of the so-called Banishing Ritual is the lack of which we spoke.
103.19 ▶ Questioner: From this I assume that it would be most appropriate to daily perform the Banishing Ritual in this room. Is this correct?
Ra: I am Ra. That is acceptable.
103.20 ▶ Questioner: I don’t want to overtire the instrument. We’re running close to time. I will just ask if there is anything we can do to improve the contact or make the instrument more comfortable, or if there is anything else that Ra could state at this time that would aid us?
Ra: I am Ra. We find the alignments quite fastidiously observed. You are conscientious. Continue in support, one for the other, and find the praise and thanksgiving that harmony produces. Rest your cares and be merry.
I am Ra. I leave you, glorying in the love and in the light of the One Infinite Creator. Go forth, therefore, rejoicing in the power and in the peace of the One Infinite Creator. Adonai.
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