(All questions and answers in this session are from Book V.)
Jim: Session 45 was also a maintenance session with a few other minor areas of investigation included. The sessions were at their shortest at this time while Carla was regaining her vital energy level. At the end of the session Ra found the need to end the session somewhat prematurely. The fellows who delivered our water for our cistern had shown up and failed to read our notes on the door which said that we were not available, and that silence was required for the experiment in which we were engaged. Thus they proceeded to knock loudly on every door that they could find, including the door to the Ra session room. Needless to say, we blocked our driveway after that experience so that we would not again be disturbed by visitors while we were having a session with Ra.
Carla: This must have been a hilarious situation. I am sorry I missed it. We were so very careful in preparing our place of working, getting the various preparations done with care and grace, then my going off to sleep while Don and Jim walked the circle of One. And then, the exquisitely careful choice of questions, listening for Ra’s very soft, very uninflected words—altogether a delicate operation. And then to have loud noises and the hurrying emotions behind them—I can just see the two men going quietly ballistic!
It is hard to read the constant reports of my failing energies, even now, because I remember so well the feelings of frustration and anger that I experienced as I offered myself, poor as I was, for contact. Inside, I felt a strength and power of self that was much different from my physical state, and I wondered why I had chosen such a limited physical body. Why had I not given myself a totally healthy body so I could be a better worker for the Light? And yet I knew, at least intellectually and consciously, that all is perfect, that this was the very best configuration of mind and body and energy balance, that this was precisely where I needed to be. Were I not a mystic, and able to access that part of me which is pure faith, I would have been tempted to give up.
In the time since Don’s death and the end of the Ra contact, I have come to much more of a peace with this issue, seeing clearly the way my limitations worked to refine me, to hone my sense of purpose and make ever more substantial those joys of spirit that informed my awareness. I see them still at work, and can embrace now that fragility which has given me such fruits of consciousness, and hollowed me out so well. It is the empty instrument that is able to offer the purest substance through it, and it is limitation and loss that have refined and hollowed me, and given me that transparency of spirit that moves into simple joy. I am so very glad to see each new day, I cannot express it; and this is a gift given through suffering. So often, as we look at spiritual gifts, that is true: the gaining of them can be seen to involve tragedy and pain. Yet as we experience those depths of sorrow, we also find ourselves more able to move into joy in the everyday things that are so right and so precious.
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