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103.4 Questioner: The instrument asks the question why she lost her joy in the recent past? Would Ra comment, please?

Ra: I am Ra. The instrument made a free-will decision not to address the physical catalyst causing great pain by means of the allopathically prescribed chemical compound which the instrument was sure would be efficacious due to its reliance upon the suggestions of Ra. Thus the catalyst was given in a more complete form. The outer service to others became nearly impossible, causing the entity to experience once again the choice of the martyr; that is, to put value in a fatal action and die or to put value on consciousness of the creation and of the One Creator and, thereby, live. The instrument, through will, chose the latter path. However, the mind and mental/emotional distortions did not give the support to this decision necessary to maintain a state of unity which this entity normally experiences and has experienced since its incarnation’s beginnings.

Since this catalyst has been accepted, the work begun to remove distortions blocking the indigo ray might well be continued apace.

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